I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza