This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
