you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize