Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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