How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
