Sponge bath it is.
she looked like the before picture.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I need moral support for this bender
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
