Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize