I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
