He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
