I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
