Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
