It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
