The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
