accomplished twins. life is a go
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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