My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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