Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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