last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
