I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
