i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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