I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
