Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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