you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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