I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
