lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
