its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
