The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
