I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Couch. On fire.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
