Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
