tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
