Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
