The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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