I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
