Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
