I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
