So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
