Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
