Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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