I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
