my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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