Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize