I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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