I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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