so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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