should my penis look like a turkey
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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