she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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