I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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