Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
