Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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