we have officially mastered the walk of shame
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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