But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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