So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
