dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
