All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
