I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Randomize