Plan B is the new Plan A
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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