the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
