if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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