we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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