I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
