I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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