I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
