I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
