my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
